and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize