just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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