But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
