I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I am one with the molecules
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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