I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
