i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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