I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
