Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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