I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Randomize
