This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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