im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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