He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
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I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
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apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
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