5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
