Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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