we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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