Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
