Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
