"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
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Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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