Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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