Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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