how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
