ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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