absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think i peed on brittanys purse
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
They left me at home... I'm a liability
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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