I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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