My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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