I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
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I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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