Please, let me fuck your mom
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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