You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
