i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
