Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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