dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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