dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
