This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
