this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
