ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Pants are for mortals
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