Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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