It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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