Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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