Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
