I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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