yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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