she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
