just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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