I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can I color on your dick again?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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