I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
