Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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