"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
