Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
