honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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