paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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