I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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