why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Randomize