the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
