Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
this will be a night to untag.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
