Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
