I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize