Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
